


Memories

by Brynn_writes



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Crime Fighting, F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Sad, i fucked the timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:14:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynn_writes/pseuds/Brynn_writes
Summary: When Emily joins the BAU, JJ is reminded of their rocky past.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 7
Kudos: 44





	1. Bring Back You

When JJ knocked on Hotch's door, she hadn't expected to find him speaking to Emily Prentiss. She hadn't expected to find her ex in her boss's office. Still, here she was, frozen in place and staring at Emily, who had changed so much, but not at all at the same time. Her hair was shorter, her bangs grown out. Emily seemed somehow unaffected, unfazed, which somehow didn't seem weird to JJ. Hotch's eyes were on her, and JJ tried to shake off her surprise. 

"Excuse me. We're getting started." JJ announced, managing to pull her gaze away from Emily for just a moment. 

"Thank you. I'll be right there." Hotch replied curtly, and JJ forced a tight-lipped smile before she retreated, heels clicking rhythmically as she rushed away from the room. Away from Emily.

She brushed past Gideon on her way into the round table room, forcing down her emotions. Spencer and Derek were waiting, each glancing up when she re-entered the room, but she ignored it, took her place in front of the glass boards covered in the terrors of the St. Louis cases. 

JJ ducked into Penelope's office after the briefing, collapsing into a chair and burying her head in her hands. Was there a better way to react when your ex showed up at your place of work? What was Emily even doing at the BAU? She knew Emily worked in the FBI from her conversations with Elizabeth, but Emily worked mostly in the midwest, and she'd never expected this.

"What's wrong, sugarplum?" Penelope asked. 

"Did you see the woman in Hotch's office?" JJ sighed, lifting her head.

"Emily? Yeah, she's supposed to be Elle's replacement." Penelope replied, brows furrowed together in confusion.

"No. Fuck! No!" JJ was out of the office before Penelope could ask any questions. She found Emily still in Hotch's office, sitting on the couch.

"Hi, Jay," Emily murmured.

"Don't." JJ insisted. "Don't call me that."

"Listen, I know you're mad -"

"Mad? No, I'm furious! You ran away nine years ago, and now you want to show up and just be a part of my life?" JJ was seething, barely managing to keep her voice at an acceptable volume.

"JJ, I didn't know!" Emily insisted.

"Have you spoken to your mother at all?" JJ spat. "She's been trying to contact you."

"I didn't know," Emily muttered.

"Of course you didn't. Liz thought you were dead, but when she contacted your field office, they said you were fine. Almost ten years, and you show up at my work, apply for a job on my team, and still, not a word. Screw you, Emily." JJ huffed, storming out of the room without a care. Screw everyone knowing. Screw keeping secrets. 

"JJ!" Penelope rushed after her, following her coworker into a cluttered office.

"I don't want to talk about it. I have to get to the jet before they leave without me." JJ mumbled, grabbing her go-bag and files before brushing past her best friend. As soon as the elevator doors shut behind her, JJ felt the hot, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew Penelope was probably on the stairs by now, rushing to beat her to the car, but she wasn't going to break down over this. She wasn't going to let Emily win.


	2. Cheers to the Wish You Were Here

JJ gripped the steering wheel, forcing herself to take deep breaths as Penelope sat next to her patiently. The overprotective technical analyst had already contacted Hotch and reserved her a ticket on a flight so that they could talk, but JJ wanted the opposite. She wanted to throw herself into work, catch an unsub, and be the one to take him down. For once, she hoped one of the men they were chasing would run, just so she could be the one to tackle him.

"C'mon, what's with you, JJ? It's not like you to go off on someone like that." Penelope asked.

"Emily is my ex." The words felt foreign on her tongue. When she and Emily broke up, they'd just moved, and no one had known about them yet. 

"Your  _ what _ ? You had a girlfriend?" Penelope gasped.

"Ex-fiancee. We were together for ten years." JJ stared at her hands. "She left me nine years ago."

"Slow down. That makes you sixteen when you two started dating." Penelope replied.

"Fifteen when we met. She'd just moved to Pennsylvania with her mom for some privacy. I went to high school in Philadelphia, she was the new girl, we were close."

"I'll say. You wanna talk about it?" Penelope asked.

"Nothing much to tell. We were together for ten years, then one day she decided I wasn't what she wanted. It was right after I was transferred to the unit. I hadn't even started yet." JJ shook her head, letting out a humorless laugh. "It was so sudden. She left that morning, and we were good. I replayed it a thousand times, trying to figure out what went wrong, but everything was amazingly normal. She came home that morning, said she wasn't ready to get married. She packed a suitcase and left." 

"I'm so sorry, honey," Penelope murmured, reaching over to place a hand on JJ's shoulder, but JJ just shrugged it off. 

"It's fine. She decided we were done, I had to live with it. But her Liz, her mom, was like a mother to me. She and I still talk, which is really weird, I know. She hadn't heard from Emily either since the day she left. We both thought she died, but she called her field office. Her supervisor said she was working there, and every time she called, he'd transfer her, then it'd go to voicemail. Emily up and left everything for a job she would've  _ hated. _ " JJ let out a humorless laugh, shaking her head. "This is bullshit. She still has all this power over me without even speaking! I'm fucking  _ crying _ over a girl I haven't thought about in years."

"That's not true and you know it." Penelope insisted. "You still talk to her mom."

JJ let out a long sigh. "When we were kids, we were best friends. She was new, I was hated, and we bonded. It took a year for us to date, and we got food thrown at us in the halls because it was the eighties, and we just didn't care. Then my mom found out, and she kicked me out. I showed up at Liz's door, freezing my ass off in just my soccer uniform in Pennsylvania winter because my mom hadn't even let me get my stuff. She let me in, she got me a hot chocolate, insisted I take a hot shower, and gave me Emily's sweats right out of the dryer. She sat with me until Emily got home from the class she was taking at community college, she held me when I told her my mom threw me out without even a winter coat because I loved her daughter and not the stupid jock from next door. 

"Elizabeth helped me get emancipated. She insisted I move in with her and Emily. She and Emily took me home to pack her things, and when my mother threw a fit, Emily held me while Liz screamed right back at her. When I graduated, she was there. When I was accepted to Georgetown, she was the one who read the letter to me, and she was the one who loaned me the money for tuition. When I paid her back, she put it in a secret savings account for my wedding. Liz read my acceptance letter to the FBI, she freaked out when I got assigned to the BAU.

"She's not related to me by blood, but she's my mother, too. Emily and I were supposed to be forever, but she left, and Liz held me when she did. I stay in touch with her because I don't have a mom without her." 

"Jay." Penelope frowned. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I haven't had a real relationship in almost ten years, and the dates I talked about were always shitty, and even if I didn't use male pronouns, you assumed it was a man. I wasn't really lying, either, I'm bi, I do go on dates with guys. I just...couldn't tell you without coming out, and you know how that's gone for me. I wasn't stoked to try again." JJ avoided meeting Penelope's eyes, staring out the windshield.

"But you know me, and when have I ever cared? I took you and Elle to a drag bar. I have like three hundred pride flags in my apartment from the pride party I threw in June." Penelope laughed.

"But telling you meant telling Derek, which meant telling Spencer, and Hotch, and Rossi, and how would they take it? I mean, I’m going to have to now, if they haven’t profiled it out of me.” 

“I’m sure they haven’t. They’re amazing profilers, but they’re terrible at things outside of their normal. I should’ve picked this up, but they would never. They wouldn’t know gay if a drag queen at a pride parade shoved it in their faces.” Penelope teased.

“I really just...don’t want to deal with this. I’m gonna go work, you go do the same.” JJ sighed.

“Deal. Promise you’ll talk to someone else, though? If it’s three against one, we have better chances.” Penelope joked.

“As much as I love you and your sense of humor, I want you to promise not to hate her because you love me.” JJ insisted.

“I promise not to hate her because I left you. I’ll hate her because she’s a moron for leaving you.” Penelope smirked.

“If she’s anything like the Emily I knew, you’ll have a hard time hating her.” JJ shook her head, a smile on her lips as she pulled an old, crumpled piece of paper that had been torn up and taped back together. “Here. I’ve carried this for nine years. It’s the note she left, and I keep it as a reminder.”


End file.
